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Relationship Difficulties

Relationship difficulties can often be experienced because of  problems in communication.  We are all in some kind of relationship and we are all greatly affected by our relationships or lack of them.

Has your relationship gone wrong, had negative impact on you and led you to feel sad miserable and hurt?

Do you experience feelings of anxiety, insecurity, stress, or over dependence on  another?

Relationship therapies began to evolve in the 1960s out of the dissatisfaction of some therapists who worked with individuals unable to move forward because of relationship difficulties at home.  Personal relationships are an organic entity which have structure, but at the same time will continually evolve and change.  So both partners need to have involvement in the process of change.

The norms for which couples in Western society are expected to comply come with a set of social expectations.  These expectations can often afflict relationship difficulties on both partners.  An example of being overwhelmed by complying with social expectations may be feeling anxious, guilty or vulnerable and then hitting out at the person closest to us and acting as if it were they who were attacking us.  This is called ‘projection’ and it means that you find a part of yourself unacceptable, so in order to protect yourself from bringing this part of you into consciousness and dealing with it, you will use defensive behaviour towards the person closest to you and this can cause relationship difficulties.

In my role as mediator/facilitator between partners I may pose challenging questions to encourage you to look at your part in your partnership/relationship and how to embrace ideas about development, moving forward and change.  I will ask you to look at how you express and receive messages from each other and how your thoughts feelings and actions in the here and now are shaping how you communicate.  Any behaviour in the presence of others is a potential to communication.  Whether you use words or silence, it has a message value and influence on others.

If your way of communicating your message isn’t leading to the response you expect contact me.  I will support you in finding the motivation to communicate your relationship difficulties.