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Anger and angry outbursts may, some of the time and maybe alot of the time, have something to do with doubting yourself, feeling unsure or feeling threatened.

Anger can rise in you and have a negative effect when someone is being directly offensive to you and then leave you feeling you have no control over the situation.  However, even when someone is being directly offensive to you, you can, through anger management counselling, learn to contain your anger and attain personal power.  The following is a precis on how you could make positive changes using anger management techniques:

Focus on the task you want to achieve:

·      Stay focused on the task you want to achieve.  Stick to what must be done in the situation to get the positive outcome you want.

·      When you begin taking insults personally you get distracted from your task and get caught in unnecessary and potentially damaging argument.

·      Anger management counselling will help you to uncover your confidence, learning not to get side-tracked and  baited into a quarrel. 

·      Through applying thoughtful and calm reasoning you will be able to recognise when another person is trying to provoke you and keep yourself task oriented and focused on controlling your anger.

Sometimes you get angry simply because it is the one thing you have always done in a certain situation.

·      Anger Management Counselling can help you to learn alternative ways of reacting when you’re being provoked that don’t involve anger, so you will be less inclined to react with anger.

One of the most important things you must do to control your anger is to recognise the signs of arousal as soon as they occur.

·      As you become more and more sharply tuned to the signs of tension and upset inside you, you will achieve greater ability to intercept your anger process.

·      Heightened anger makes you agitated and impulsive.

·      As you learn to relax more easily, your ability to regulate your anger will improve.

Anger can serve a useful function

·      You can use your anger to work to your advantage by noticing and recording (writing down) early alerting signals that you are becoming upset thus letting you know at what point the cycle needs to be broken to prevent your anger getting out of control.

·      Remember that letting your anger get out of control makes you agitated and more likely to act impulsively; and impulsive, aggressive and antagonistic acts get you into trouble.

·      Anger Management Counselling can help you to learn how not to use emotion to arrive at a reasoned answer.

Sometimes you get angry because things look like they are getting out of hand and you want to take charge.  You are afraid that things will not go the way you want them to, so you call on anger as a way of keeping things under your control.

·      Do not threaten force to make others agree with you. 

·      Anger Management Counselling can guide you to consider many options/answers and learn to carefully examine these to see which seems the best for you to aid in managing your anger.

·      Anger Management Counselling can enable you to empower yourself to be in control of the situation.

·      The best way to take charge of a situation can be not to get angry when those around you would expect or maybe even want you to be upset.

As you learn to break down provocation experiences into chunks or stages, you will have a better handle on things, which is another way of empowering yourself and putting you on top of the situation.

·      Anger Management Counselling could greatly improve your life and also the lives of others around you will become better and better.

Sometimes you get annoyed, upset and angry because you spend more time thinking about and dwelling on your problems and don’t believe you can do anything well.

·      You often forget the good things that you do, but you don’t let yourself get away with your mistakes and failings.

·      You can learn new ways of thinking about the positive aspects of who you are and let yourself feel good when you succeed in managing your anger.

“If you are worried/frightened and don’t understand how you can express and manage your anger safely, contact me on 07743324519 to arrange a session, or apply to join the group.”

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Elizabeth Welch is an Accredited and Registered member of the BACP